Sunday, March 25, 2007

5 Best Dads on TV

5 best DADS on Television:

1. Sandy Cohen from the O.C.

“The next time you think about raising your fists,

you better open your mouth and talk.”

Who wouldn’t want to have a cool dad like Sandy Cohen? He’s known in the hit series the O.C. as being a hip dad, the cool father who understands the concerns of the modern teenager. His character showed strong sense of sympathy and support to those who come to him to ask for advice. He’s a good problem-solver, someone who would make you think and realize the solutions on your own.

2. Jonathan Kent from Smallville

Who wouldn’t admire a dad who raised a man who saves the world? Jonathan Kent, Clark’s adoptive father, plays a significant role in the TV series Smallville. He’s one of the best dads on TV because of the way he accepted his son, treating him like a real human being. He supported him and protected his identity. Although Clark was the one who had the gift to save the world, Jonathan kept him in his place, guided him and taught him the ways of the world.

3. Daduds from Maging Sino Ka Man

We all know the loud and ragged Daduds from the teleserye Maging Sino Ka Man. Daduds raised his 2 boys well amidst the hardships of poverty and his fatal sickness. He is considered as one of the best dads on TV because of being able to raise his sons in a dignified way. Even though his character sometimes showed aggressive behavior, he was still able to educate his children about what is true and important in life. He taught them the value of being hard-working and of being a good person.

4. Enteng from Okay Ka Fairy Ko

Back in the late 90s, Okay Ka Fairy Ko was aired once a week as a family show enjoyed by many. And until now, we are still entertained by Enteng’s adventures because of the three Okay Ka Fairy Ko movies produced. Enteng’s wit and humor made him one of the best dads on TV. Because of his humor, he is able to keep his family alive and intact. He was able to prove that even though he is the only mortal being in his household, he was able to show that having powers is not the only way to make everything right. Enteng was not just a good husband but also a good father. He was able to teach his daughter valuable lessons in a comedic fashion.

5. _____________________________

It’s time for you to start thinkin’! :)

Who do you think should be part of this list and be considered as one of the best fathers on TV?

Leave a comment or e-mail your answers at dadsanddaughters@gmail.com

Sunday, March 11, 2007

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Monday, February 12, 2007

Five Hurdles for Fathers

An Article from:

Dads and Daughters. (2007). Five hurdles for fathers . [On-line]. Retrieved February 12, 2007 from http://www.dadsanddaughters.org/about-your-teenager/five-hurdles-for-fathers.aspx

Five Hurdles for Fathers

Every father faces psychological and cultural barriers on the way to full engagement in a daughter's life. We must understand these hurdles to be effective fathers and stepfathers—or to work effectively with fathers and families. These hurdles may seem silly, unnecessary, or insignificant to others. But they are not silly, unnecessary, or insignificant to fathers.

Hurdle # 1

We grew up as boys. We simply have no experience in what it's like to grow up a girl. As one man puts it, "I'm not sure what a father to a daughter is supposed to be, since I was a son."

No matter how much we love them and how much we want to connect, our growing daughters are sometimes a complete mystery to us. From their earliest days, we've asked ourselves "What is she thinking?" Believe it or not, a father can begin finding out what she's thinking, open up communication and improve the connection, but that requires asking for information and guidance. That leads to the second hurdle.

Hurdle # 2

We're Stereotyped. Our culture sees fathers as either invisible, incompetent second-class parents, or as all-knowing superheroes. Most folks (including dads) think mom is best suited to be the primary and most influential parent. One sees that mindset everywhere from the school nurse's office to sitcoms. How often does the school nurse called a sick kid's father at work to come pick her up? Does she have his work number? Watch the sitcom daddy who doesn't know which end of the baby to put the bottle in, or who gags when changing a diaper. That's the stereotype of Daddy as a dummy.

The opposite stereotype pops up in programs like "The Cosby Show," where Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable has a wife, kids, a beautiful house and the rich lifestyle of a high-salary OB/GYN. It's a wonderful, funny show with fabulous examples of family (and fathering) respect and support. But Cliff never seems to go to work or have outside stresses. He's always available; wisely, lovingly and humorously raising wonderful children. No real man gets to live a fantasy fatherhood like Cliff Huxtable, even though many fathers judge themselves by how close to Cosby they come. The tragic murder of Mr. Cosby's son helps reveal how unrealistic this stereotype is.

Hurdle # 3

The Protector Predicament. "The first time a boy comes calling on my daughter, I'll be out on the front porch just casually cleaning my shotgun. Because I was his age once; I know what he's after and I want him to know it." - Tony

Fearing the risks and dangers, we long to engineer a single word or action powerful enough to protect our daughters. If only a shotgun could do the trick! This overprotective shotgun-on-the-porch attitude tells a daughter: "Daddy doesn't really trust me. He doesn't have faith in my choice of friends or my ability to choose good friends. He doesn't believe there are any decent boys out there anyway." It tells a daughter's romantic interest: "This girl's father expects me to be a predator. Whether or not he knows me, if I am calling on his daughter, he sees me as a danger. He thinks that's how all boys are, and maybe how all boys should be. He's also telling me that the way to address fears or solve serious problems is with violence or the threat of violence"

Our fatherly fears are not idle, foolish or unjustified; they are based in reality -- for example, one in three girls (and one in five boys) will be sexually abused by the time they are adults. Some adolescent girls really do get pregnant, catch STDs and encounter other difficulties that last a lifetime. But the source of our fears is not the boy walking up the front steps, and the solution is not the shotgun. The culprit is a culture that glorifies violence against women and girls, romanticizes rape, and counts the pseudo-sexualization of children as an acceptable marketing strategy.

Even before romances start, it's smart to look back into our own adolescence and find the "real boy in there." "Sure, some of it was physical, but most of it was really wanting to be close to a girl, discover what girls are like, have a friend. It was exciting. It was confusing and scary, but it was great! I want to share that with my daughter, the good and the bad, from the boy's perspective. And I can do it, too; she listens to me. I feel like that's a pretty big bit of information, a gift really, that I can give her and that nobody else can. I'll be able to tell her what boys her age are thinking." - Jim

Just as we didn't grow up as girls, our daughters are not growing up as boys. We can share with our daughter our knowledge and expertise about what it's like to be a boy. That's priceless to a girl trying to decode the mysterious minds of the "opposite sex."

Hurdle # 4

The Provider Predicament. Growing up, boys learn that a father's primary role is to provide for his family. That's a good thing to learn. But too many men bail out on that responsibility. And too many of those who stay equate the key word – provider--with their wallets.

It often makes practical financial sense for dad to spend more time at a paying job than mom, since men still earn more, on average, than women do (an ugly, sexist reality). However, this way of living requires a significant trade-off that we seldom openly acknowledge. As one dad puts it: "I realize that I don't have that much of a relationship with Amelia on an internal level, because I work. That's sad, because there's always something you miss. You're always off doing something and you're separated from each other, so you don't communicate like you should. I have a lot of regret that I haven't done enough for her. I haven't been there all the times I should've been there."

Hurdle # 5

The Silence of Our Dads. Who can we talk to about raising a girl (or even about being a father, period)? Women talk about mothering all the time: with their daughters and mothers, with each other, around the water cooler, with relatives, at parties. They always seem to find a place to talk about—and to—their kids. Fathers are more likely to talk with each other about the complexities of baseball free-agency than the complexities of fatherhood. Without fathering conversations, dads don't get much information from each other; and osmosis doesn't work.

What we face is a generational cycle of silence about being fathers, and intelligent people know where generational cycles of silence lead. Many of our fathers were withdrawn and distant from others in the family, absorbed in work, or booze, or exhaustion—if they even stayed around through all of our childhood. This leaves little room for father-son conversation or questions about being a dad. So, compared to what moms usually learn from their mothers, most men are flying blind from the day their child is born.

Meanwhile, the way our fathers did things sometimes doesn't seem to make sense today. Here's another father's voice: "How do I do this? There isn't anyone here to show me what to do and the roles are all different now—both their mother and I work full time. Am I being too wimpy? Too rigid? Am I just trying to win the argument or do the kids really need to know that I sometimes know what's best? How are they going to make it unless I lay down the rules? But laying down the rules doesn't teach them to think.

Of course, that's the potential upside to all this old blindness and uncertainty. Today, men can create new ways to father – and many men (especially younger ones) do. They break the Silence of the Dads and starting talking to their kids and to each other about how they're playing this gig. This is actually exciting for them and their families!

Adapted from The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Being an Expectant Father by Joe Kelly and used by permission.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Daddy’s Little Girl by Nancy B. Gibbs

Daddy’s Little Girl[1]

By Nancy B. Gibbs

“Please, Daddy,” I said. “All the other girls in my class have pierced ears.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” Daddy said. “You can’t get your ears pierced until you are sixteen.” I didn’t think that I could wait until I turned sixteen. I was almost the only girl in my class that wasn’t showing off her dangling earring to all of her friends. All the boys smiled when they saw the beautiful, grown-up jewelry those girls wore.

Sixteen must be a magical year, I thought. I understood why everyone referred to the age of sixteen as “sweet”. That was the year that Daddy said I could start dating. He had already said that I could stay out until eleven o’clock – but not until after my sixteenth birthday, of course. At only twelve years of age, sixteen seemed like a million years away.

My thirteenth birthday was quickly approaching. Now’s the time to ask Daddy about my ears again, I thought. Surely when I become a teenager he will change his mind. I began trying to convince my mom that I really needed my ears pierced. Maybe she can talk some sense into him. She didn’t comment when I discussed it with her. I know that she went to bat for me, but Daddy was determined to disallow it until that magical sixteenth year.

My mom gave me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday. They looked like pierced earrings, but they weren’t. They were the stick-on kind. They were precious tiny bugs. At least I can fool all the kids at school, I thought. The next day, I got all dressed up in a beautiful red dress and carefully stuck my earrings in the center of my earlobes. I felt so beautiful, just like all the other girls in my class.

Each time that I passed a mirror, I stopped to admire my ladybugs. My new earrings were the topic of conversation that day. I felt so special and grown-up.

When I returned home that day, I looked in the mirror in the living room to get another look at my precious earrings. The right one was missing! I was heartbroken. I looked all around the house. When I couldn’t find it there, I tracked my path back to school. For hours I searched for the missing earring. By the time Daddy got home, I was in tears. I knew that I would have to admit to all of my friends that my ears weren’t pierced after all.

When Daddy cam in, he saw me crying.

“What’s wrong, honey?” he asked.

“I lost my earring,” I said. I heard my mother mumble something under her breath.

The next morning, daddy got up early to go to work. He came into my room and kissed me goodbye but didn’t say anything. When I got up to get ready for school, my heart was heavy. I was so sad that my cute earring had disappeared.

When I went to the breakfast table, my mother smiled. “Guess what?” she said. “We’re going to get your ears pierced Saturday.”

“But what about Daddy?” I asked.

“When he saw how sad you were over the lost earring and realized the effort you put forward to finding it, he agreed that you are mature enough at thirteen to get your ears pierced,” she said.

The next Saturday, we got up early and went to have my ears pierced.

“You sure are pretty,” Daddy said, when he saw my new earrings. “But you are growing up entirely too fast.” He handed me a tiny box. I smiled when I opened it and saw two tiny ladybugs tucked away in the box. This time they were real pierced earrings, not the stick-on type, which are easy to lose.

“Can I start dating now? I asked Daddy.

“Not on your life,” he demanded. “Not until you’re sixteen. Unfortunately honey, you’ll be sixteen too soon,” he said. We hugged each other. As we parted, I saw a tear on Daddy’s cheek I realized that this wasn’t really about earrings and dates. It was about a man trying to keep his little girl from growing up too quickly. In spite of his efforts, however, my sweet sixteenth birthday arrived too soon.

“It’s all happening too fast,” he whispered from time to time. “You’ll always be Daddy’s little girl.” And he was right. I never outgrew my need for my father, regardless of the earrings or the dates. He was and will always be a very special man in my life.



[1] from the Chocolate for a Teen’s Heart by Kay Allenbaugh, 2001, pp. 197-199

Thursday, December 14, 2006

D&d question:

Which aspects in your life
do you want your dads to be present in?

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dadsanddaughters@gmail.com